There is no such thing as a perfect parent

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I am a mother of three wonderful children and it is based on my time as a parent and the large numbers of books I have read on the subject that I base most of my articles. For those reading, I hope you find solutions to issues you are having in the home in these articles and that you view this website as a safe place to be open and honest about your family life. I really hope that you don’t read these articles and think that I have it all figured out or that parenting is easy and that you must be doing something wrong if you are finding it tough. 

Parenting is never easy. Everyone is in a different situation and we are all dealing as best we can. There are good days and there are bad days. The truth is that most parents try to project an image of the perfect family to the outside world while internally we may be lacking sleep, struggling with our partners, or having issues with the kids. No family is perfect and no matter how bad you think you are doing, do not be discouraged.

I remember when I had my first child, I found it incredibly difficult to find time to spend with my husband, it felt like our relationship was drifting away from us and we only really spoke about the kids. I was worried about our marriage. At the same time, I was sleeping less and felt I was falling behind in work. In short, my career, my health, my relationships were all struggling in those early days. Every day I looked in the mirror I was less and less happy with the woman looking back at me and the bags under my eyes appeared to be getting bigger and bigger.

Yet I have friends who have become parents since that time, and they have also struggled. Many of these friends have approached me and asked how I had such “an easy time” when I had my first child. An easy time? It was the hardest time of my life.

The point here is that no matter what parent you look at, no matter how easy they may make it look, there are some seriously tough days. Parenting presents a whole new set of challenges and even though many people do well, there are those days where everyone does poorly.

I’m glad to say that my marriage not only survived but became stronger during that time. My work did not think I was falling behind they were happy with the amount I was doing considering I was a new mum, and I finally found ways to ensure I was looking after my health and energy. It took time but each challenge was an opportunity to learn and I hope to pass on whatever I have learned in the past in these articles.

However, I still have much more to learn. My children are still young and they will present me with many more obstacles for years to come. There may be a neighbor that you have or a woman in your work who makes parenting looks easy. A neighbor who always has the cakes baked for the picnic or the costumes made for the school play, or who always does well at work, but trust me, you don’t know how things are really going. 

She may be able to project a picture of ease and success but on the inside, we are all struggling with someone. Whether it is in your career, your family, or something else, always run your own race. We all run at different paces on different paths and it comparisons make no sense. As long as you improve compared with your past self then you are winning your race.