What you say to your partner matters. Sometimes, what you say is hurtful, and if you’ve done that, you know you should apologize.
Other times, what you say is hurtful yet you don’t know it is. Well, that is the case for certain compliments. If you’re wondering how a compliment could be bad, you’re going to find out.
Can’t live without you
Yes, sadly, telling your partner you can’t live without them is a bad thing. It sounds like the perfect compliment. It seems like the kind of thing that shows appreciation and gratitude. The compliment can be found in popular love songs and countless movies, yet it’s something you should avoid saying.
Saying this puts too much pressure on your partner, and you don’t want that in any relationship.
How does this phrase hurt?
The reality is telling a partner you can’t live without him or her triggers a psychological response. This response is unconscious; the person isn’t even aware it’s happening, but it is. It makes the other person feel responsible for you, and while that might sound good because you care for each other, it’s also too much pressure.
When you’re put under pressure, the brain doesn’t like it. A negative emotion is triggered. While it’s perfectly normal to fight every so often, it’s not a good thing to make your partner feel this kind of pressure constantly. This creates a negative emotion that’s constantly linked to the relationship.
The statement also hurts the person saying it. The person who says something like this will appear needy and lack confidence. These are not attractive traits. People are usually attracted to people who are passionate, self-assured, and people who are curious about life. All of that slowly chips away every time you say this statement.
This phrase also makes the other person feel trapped. You don’t want that in your relationship. It makes it hard for them to build new relationships or nourish ones they’ve already made and value. This happens because you’re making your partner constantly worry about you.
It’s important to point out that this phrase can be said in more ways than one. You need to know them all so that you can learn to avoid them.
The other phrases
You don’t want to tell your partner he or she is your world. There’s no way a partner is going to fulfill every need. You’re expecting too much from one person, and that leads to disappointment at some point.
The other phrase you want to avoid saying is that your partner saved your life. That’s saying the same thing except it does something else you don’t want to do at any point. In essence, you’re elevating your partner and putting them in a position of a savior. You’re almost treating them like a god, and that’s not healthy for anyone.
You also don’t want to state you don’t know what you’d do without them. In essence, you’re putting your partner in a constant state of fear. What might happen to you if this person isn’t with you? Are you saying you might harm yourself if the person isn’t there?
Another thing you don’t want to say to your partner is he or she completes you. Again, it may sound romantic, and it may even be something you’ve heard in many movies, but it eliminates your autonomy. You’re a whole person right now, without anyone. You’re not a broken person who needs someone else to feel complete or whole. You both are separate people, and it’s okay that you are.
Hopefully, some of this helps you build a mutually beneficial relationship where you both acknowledge each other’s value and the choice to be together. It’s crazy to see what certain statements could do to a partnership, but now you know better.